Ini adalah perjalanan untuk mengenal diri seseorang yang berlindung di balik nama Lina.
It is around 4 pm already. Instead of working, now I am betraying myself for I have this unnerved feeling which suddenly just come and strongly make me a bit discourage for whatever reasons. At least, as I was saying in my last post, I want to appreciate myself sometimes.
I have been so impressed with they who can make their life lighter and happier. Alas, I have been trying so hard to tackle down my own feelings these past weeks. Me being very anxious that next week I am going to start my last semester and still not sure about my thesis also contribute to this anxiety. However that is okay, I am perfectly understand that whatever paths I choose must help me to grow, so I never expect that my choices would be easy.
I am also having this unsettling senses whenever I have to socialize with people. I know this is not good, both for my career and for my own self sometimes. Anyway I am just born with it, and the fact that I still care on how people see me becomes a proof that there is this feeling that I want to be accepted, or should I say this is a sign to start building a new one? In the pasts, there were these times when I forced myself so hard only trying to be a part of group, which is in the end, I always lost. Even though I got what I want, I ruined my self.
But don’t worry. By writing this I learned something. I want to wide my own circles and learn more from new people. I understand, a part of me being socially anxious is indeed one of the many weakness I have. However I realize, because I know they are my weakness, it is also my wole to overcome them. After all, only the one that has the same frequency can be synced.