Life seems a little blurry, very much representing my heart right now for I am currently oscillating between acceptance and letting go. So I, like a very determined task master, set my brain upon teaching my ever so fragile heart and mind to behave and embrace practical decisions which were made without much melodrama. To some extent, it seems to have succeed, or so it is my mind which would like to think. However, there are also moments when my heart is caught unawares on a sharp-jawed shredder. But then, there are still hopes that the heart does grow back. So now, I could not wait for how my heart and my mind would grow after being so broken.
If I am to be allowed, I want to have this ability to arrange my own heart, suiting my circumstances and desires. I have tried so hard to rack my brain in order to trick and persuade the given heart, yet she was apparently so sensitive and did not even budge. Fortunately through all kinds of supports, even though they actually did not behave as I have expected, I could still accept the way they looked at my confused heart. And if there was no such thing as hope, I did not know how long I’d be able to endure the temptation after temptation I am currently facing.